You Are Not Alone
by Rima Akien
Summary: Their time together was coming to an end. Raven tries to open herself up to her feelings, yet never expected to feel this for the man who she always chased behind; the one who carried the team, kept them together, and always watching over them. But she notices something in that man who showed them no weakness- an emptiness in his heart, and she can't let him go through this alone.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

There was something very haunting about the feeling of Titan Tower these days, the group was starting to feel more distant, too normal, for the superhero lives that they had led since the team's beginnings. It seemed that there were more frequent stretches in time where there was no need for them to leave the tower in a rush to save Jump City, their alarm was a seldom sound that left a ringing silence over the hesitant conversations between them all. They all knew it was beginning to become that time, where the team will be disassembled. There would be no need for them at all soon, they will all become adults in this world meant to go off on other ventures in their plans. But for now, there was still time.

Raven, for one, still felt she had a bit more to learn from her friends. Before they all disappeared she wanted to really be a friend to them. After her father's defeat, Raven had become more in control of her powers, and able to show more emotion- but habits were hard to break. In fact, despite being able to, Raven still rarely left her room, she did not partake in many of the conversations, and she let little emotion slip through. It was still a work in progress. Though not many would actually notice the differences, Raven could feel the changes as they changed her, and wore her out by the end of the day. It was all small things, brief glimpses of a more welcoming Raven the Titans never really got to see before.

Most of her days ended with the longest running sessions of video games with Beast Boy, him howling in her ear, as he slammed the buttons on the controller while she sat on her calves on the couch, as calm as always. Sometimes Raven would help Cyborg with dinner, especially after times Beast Boy would crowd the menu with his tofu demands. In fact, if Raven had to admit it, but she won't yet, Cyborg teaching her the basics in cooking would probably be one of the things that will help Raven the most when her friends are no longer there for her at every waking moment. Starfire was as tricky to be around as Beast Boy. But where BB was loud, overbearing, and did not know how many jokes were too many; Star was a completely different problem. She often wanted to bring their adventures "out to the world of Earth," and that often caused a lot of headaches due to Star's nativity, and lack of cultural understanding. Raven's closet was stuffed full with clothes from shopping trips, and Raven's stomach had churned too often from Starfire's insistence of making "happy pudding." It never made anyone in the tower happy much but her- which is why they still let her.

However, after long days of trying to keep up with everyone else, after trying not to let any of her friends push her emotions too far; whether that be frustration, or joy, it was the morning she woke up that were the most subtle, yet favorite of her changes. Raven was always early to rise, she would wake just before the sun, and meditate on the roof before venturing down to the kitchen to make herself some tea. Now, when Raven padded her feet across the hall she started the coffee machine, and set her tea pot to boil, and waited for both as she meditated with the view of the large window in the living room. Before the coffee was even done he would be there, pulling their mugs from the cabinets. Neither of them felt the need to say something in the morning wake, and he always patiently sat as he waited for her meditation to be done. When she sat at the counter with him, handing her the mug of warm tea. Robin would always smile as he did so. Sometimes, Raven would walk into the living room, and find Robin was already there, starting the coffee machine, and placing the kettle on the stove. On those mornings Raven was sure to smile at him first before she began meditating.

She could never really pinpoint when their ritual began, she always remembered both of them being early risers, each addicted to their own form of warm awakening. Slowly, as the time passed closer to the waking hours of the rest of the team, the two would start whispered conversations. There was never anything too detailed, most of it would be on what the other had been reading, the newspaper, or calming stories. As the others awoke and ventured in to start breakfast, and begin their day, Robin and Raven would be calm and collected and ready to begin their day.

These small victories of progress for Raven felt amazing, it made life at the Tower so much more lively. She was becoming more of a companion, more than an onlooker. While their time together was growing shorter, Raven began to appreciate it more as well, as she looked around the breakfast table. Starfire humming loudly as she poked her food, Beast Boy and Cyborg scarfing down their food, and Robin watching over all of them from the rim of his cup of coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"BB, you are going down!" Cyborg's scream shook the couch, and popped all close by eardrums. Raven, looking up from her book gave a scowl, her eyebrows furrowed. Their battles on the flat screen, arguments over their controllers, were not uncommon. Robin and Starfire seemed to still be having a pleasant conversation in their own corner of the couch, leaning in to hear one another over the surround sound speakers. They were cozy, and comfortable. Everyone seemed so light in their auras, smiles on their faces. Raven though was slumped, and curled into herself. There was a tight constricting feeling in her chest. It made her look up at every time there was an even louder noise in this battle of being heard. Smaller, and smaller, became the space around her. Suffocating, and trapping her in a small box though the space between Raven and her friends, at the same time, started to feel farther apart. The space around her seeming tighter, darker… There was a sense of togetherness that was dissipating within her.

Never had her motions every seemed so sudden. With a quick jerk to her feet, Raven stood, with her book at hand, staring at her friends. As her self encouragement for time spent with friends retreated, so did she. Raven gravitated down the hall, letting the noise disappear behind her. In her room once more, with its dark hanging air, and empty atmosphere, the violet haired girl reasoned it was okay to escape, just this one time. In here Raven did not feel alone, for there was no one else, no group to label her other to make her feel on the outside. It hadn't been that long time since Raven had retreated to her room like this, it was just the other day where she dodged a group trip to the pizzeria in favor of the then secluded tower. Sighing to herself Raven wished she had as much courage as she did in the face of the criminals and villains than faced when it came to the life she had to lead.

Just when Raven was finally betraying herself, and giving up on the whole prospect of even trying to connect with the rest of the world anymore there was a assured knock on her door. Never one to let anyone in her room willingly, she went to the door and opened it. There she was met by a pair of masked eyes on a tall, slender frame.

"Yes?" Raven said, her voice calm, and keeping the sudden surprise of his appearance in her chest.

"You left really quietly, I didn't realize." The mask covered the emotions he held in his eyes, and Raven was unsure if her leaving was a sad event, or just a matter of fact.

"So?" Raven asked arching her brow

"I wanted to make sure you eat." Robin told her, staring into her face. He did not move away, taking up the space of the doorway. He only tilted his body for a moment to allow her to go first. She watched him carefully as she stepped out, and walked toward the kitchen.  
>"You didn't have to come get me, you can eat without me."<br>"I know."

It was a rare occurrence for the team to eat together, so Raven was surprised that Robin had come to get her to join them. However, when they got to the living room the sight that greeted them was a lot more common place. All across the floor were disgusting, spilling plastic wrappers, sauce covered plates abandoned on the table, and barbecue covered teammates cheering, and causing mayhem. Cyborg and Beast Boy had apparently grabbed their wings, and went right back to their game, the bones jerkily sticking out of their mouths. Starfire was calling out the names she had given to each of their characters, one of them dubbed "Charles," and though it wasn't really certain which one that was, she was cheering for their victory anyways.

Raven and Robin looked at one another, her eyes a dark glint in her eyes, sarcastic. The look on his face was not one that was unsimilar. In fact, the look they were sharing was something the two of them often understood with one another; who understood the craziness of their friends, and could look at one another, and say everything they're thinking in that single look. Shrugging Robin just led her over to the kitchen, ignoring the mess around him. Raven stepped over the crumbs, and garbage, following him, only looking up when Robin holds out her plate in front of her. There was no hint of emotion on his face that gave him away from behind his mask, so she took it without a word. Once more he walked away, stopping to look at her. "Come on, Raven."

It wasn't such an odd thing, with Robin being the team leader, to be following him. But Raven was always the one to question him, made him explain himself when she was unsure. It's was what pushed the team forward. The first and second in command, Robin and Raven, were what kept the team running like a well oiled machine. But this wasn't a mission, this wasn't a battle. This was their everyday lives.

When Raven found where they ended up it was not where she would have expected. The walls were covered in articles, and security camera pictures. Notes were thumb tacked on to several places. She had only been here a number of times, Robin's room looked like he did not live here, but worked here. He had set his plate at his overcrowded table before going over to his bed and brushing everything off. Papers fluttered, weapons discarded, and clunking to the floor. "you can sit here, Raven." Robin said, gesturing to the spot he cleared for her before sitting down in a chair not too far away. Raven ate quietly, glancing up at Robin every now and then. Neither of them spoke, the atmosphere much like their mornings.

When he wasn't looking Robin's face was in the shadows of the light, and Raven was almost sure that his spikes were becoming longer than she remembered in her mind. Thinking back to the day they all banded together as a team, Raven could now spot the differences between him from then to now. He was definitely taller than her, where he once only met her height by the match of his hair. Now Raven realized she had begun to look slightly higher to find his hidden eyes. He was leaner, the muscles under his suit more defined than they were when he was, really, just a boy. The differences were not all good, though. She could see the paleness of his face, the restless wake of urgency in his actions. He looked as if he did not sleep much, moved as if he must attend to something at every moment. Robin, when had they all stopped paying attention? Knowing did not make Raven feel better, it made her scared. He was not someone who liked to share about himself. Of them all, it was his story that they did not know- or rather his story she should not know.

When Raven stood with her plate when she was done, ready to leave. "Raven?" She looked at Robin, her eyes meeting the whites of his mask. "You can join me for dinner whenever you want, you know. You don't have to hide away." Surprise was stuck in her throat, and she tried not to show it. With a simple hum, and a rush to escape she dumped her plate into the sink.

"Friend Raven, your face is kind of pink." Starfire said, as she poking Raven's cheek.

"Don't touch." she said bluntly, before retreating to the couch.

"Hey, Rae, why don't you play with us?" Beast Boy hollered as he tossed a controller at her. He gave her a wide, snaggletooth grin, and a nod to the screen. The yelling didn't seem so bad anymore, and the pair of eyes in the doorway were as relaxed as his smile. Robin shared a knowing look of courage, before going back to his room his shoulder slumped like mountains.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Perhaps it had been because there had been no emergency lately, but when the alarm sounded all the Titans went into panic mode. There were many bumps, and crashes. Even Raven found herself mumbling curses under her breath, breaking an unused light bulb in her room from the feelings of frustration. It was a surprise that it was only when they made it to the living room that the rest of the team realized that it wasn't even the cry for help when they needed to jump into action. Instead they were greeted with Robin standing there with his arms crossed. "Our timing has gotten slower." He said, his face blank, and unreadable. "It's time to train. We need to stay on top of our game, whether we keep getting calls or not." 

Beast Boy was the first to protest, he looked at his watch, and whined loudly, "Robin! It's only four a.m.!" Turning into a big, green panda, he yawned, and rubbed his eyes. "I should be hibernating!" BB continued, turning back into himself. 

"Well, when we can start catching the alarms, and actually stay on the top of our game, then you can complain about how early we have to wake up to work out, and practice." Robin walked off in the direction of the training room, his aura a storm that rushed by Raven. He was angry, and unsettled. But it wasn't because of their lack of need in crime fighting, nor the team's lateness to this drill. It was something else Raven couldn't put her finger on. Starfire looked at the rest of the team, worry and confusion in her eyes, while Cyborg and Beast Boy shared frustrated angry looks. Whenever Robin was in a mood he took it out on everyone else. His competitive, and obsessive behavior drove the team wild, and more than not it just fueled their anger to be thrown at him. Raven knew this training session wasn't going to be very happy for the team. 

"Starfire, would you focus! you're not even hitting it!" Robin yelled at the Tamaranian girl, the pink headed girl's eyes heated up to a daring green, her hands aglow. Her eyes right on Robin as she tossed a beam at the mannequin, disintegrating it. 

"Dude! What is up with you today?" Cyborg yelled, from across the room. The room got eerily quiet, the silence something that had not fell upon the training room since they entered, but here they all were, staring at their leader, waiting for some kind of explanation to his behavior this morning. They were met with none. Instead their leader brushed off their looks, and headed straight for the punching bag. Continuously kicking, and abusing the hanging bag, he let out his emotions. It was not intentional, Raven knew, after all Robin was a private person, but being an empath, his emotions were being hurled at her like a freight train. His anger, his frustration, his disappointment- his… Loneliness?

As the rest of the Titans began to get back to their training, Raven stood there for a beat longer, staring at Robin. She couldn't understand why he was lonely, he wasn't like Raven. Where she must be contained, and controlled, Robin was freely able to express his emotions. She found herself jealous more than once of his ability to feel as much as he did. Free to be as happy, or as joyous as he wanted. With the hovering fog of anger, and aggression Raven decided not to tag it any longer, and she left the room, disappearing between the floorboards.

"Raven! Where are you going?" Robin hollered, noticing the lack of her presence quickly. She had already evaporated downstairs when he decided to follow her, his steel toe boots stomping down the halls of the tower. The rest of the team looked at one another in worry. They had all become use to leaving Raven alone after the first few months of her in the team. Where she had once destroyed the tower in her wake, her emotions unchecked wreaked havoc. Even though now she it had been a long time, and a great many things since, no one ever really pushed Raven like such. Robin, must be off some hinge for him to go after her.

Her door was open before he even got there, and he entered without knocking, the door closing mechanically after him, blocking out the show from the other Titans. "Raven, why did you walk out of training? We are not done yet, so, get back up there." His voice was clipped in the way of a soldier. Looking at him her eyes slates of unexpressed emotions, Raven stood there with her cloak removed. Her face was blank for a few seething moments, before her eyes went to slits, and she stepped closer to him.

"I don't know what your problem is, Robin, but you seem to forget that I can feel everything you feel. You especially, after everything. You know me better than anyone so I don't know what it is you think you are achieving right now by verbally attacking your friends, and the attitude you have right now, but it's not helping you."

"I didn't ask for you to be connected with me that much! I didn't ask for you to go into my mind!" Robin yelled, he brushed everything else off that she had said, and his anger was still swelling. But Raven didn't seem taken aback, nor surprised.

"Why don't you go somewhere else to calm down, before you have the rest of the team placing you at the wrong end of their own wrath." Raven warned him, her hard violet eyes making sure he realized she would be one of the people who would side against him now as well. Their eyes were electric, sparked, and heated. Somewhere in the room there was a crash of books falling from their place, her emotions overwhelming for the moment had gotten the better of her. That was when Robin decided to leave her room, pushing past the crowd of their friends standing on the other side of the door.

"I shall go make sure he does not leave in that mood that he is in, friend Raven." Starfire said, floating down the hall after Robin, quietly. Raven just looked at the other two male members of the team, knowing they had their own input in what was going on with their leader.

"Do you understand what is going on with the guy?" Cyborg asked from the doorway, not daring to enter her room the way Robin had. Beast Boy on the other hand saw an open door and took it as an invitation and waltzed in.

"Yea, Rae, you were in that dude's head, can't you just like- do it again? Get him to calm down? Maybe let us sleep a bit?" BB said, making faces, his snaggle tooth on display. Raven's eyes darkened in black, her anger pushing him back out the door. "Okay- that's a no." Beast Boy said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I think we all realize this has more to do than a drill not going as planned." Cyborg said, looking at BB and shaking his head. The green skinned friend should have known better, only Robin would dare to do something like enter Raven's room. Raven placed her cloak back on, needing the cover of it in their presence, feeling all too much exposed.

"I don't know." Raven said, her voice flat, but her overhanging worried thoughts weighed on their chests. "I really don't." Looking to the side, in the direction she could sense him in the tower, she couldn't help but think, _"Robin… What's wrong?"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Raven sat there with her cup of tea chilling in her hands, the chill of fall was seeping through the large windows, and her mind was too preoccupied to allow her enough quiet to meditate properly. Instead, she had sat at the counter, listening to the clock in the kitchen ticking, counting down the seconds the coffee in the pot became bitter, and cold. This was the third day that Robin had not come down for his usual cup of coffee. The day after the drill he had come down right as everyone else was waking, and apologized with his back turned to everyone as he poured his coffee. He remained quiet, and isolated himself the rest of the day, and the day after that he rarely left his room at all.

Sitting there, it felt odd, for him not to be there with her. Raven wasn't sure when she had become so use to his presence in the morning. They did not speak much at all in times like these, but here she sat blankly feeling more alone than she did when they sat in silence. Robin had brushed off her questioning looks when he appeared yesterday to get his dinner. His body was curved in a way she had never seen, as if he were about to be sick, folding into himself. His hands shook under the weight of the plate, only ever so slightly, his strength gone. While his mask may be able to hide the emotions in his eyes, the falling grimace was not something as easily hidden. _Robin, what happened to you?_

"He still hasn't come out, huh?" Beast Boy's voice startled Raven so much that the mug in her hand shattered, spilling her tea all over her, and the counter. "Sorry." He said, surprised himself that the girl had been startled so much. He had never been able to sneak up on Raven, he doesn't think anyone ever had. He passed her a paper towel from the kitchen, spotting the still full coffee pot.

"Thanks." Raven said wiping herself down. "And no, he hasn't come out." She did not look up at him, but not feeling the need to say more, but feeling even more stirring in the Tower. Cyborg, and Starfire would be joining them in a moment. Trying to reach out and sense Robin, she could simply feel the resting, ever so still, weight of him in his room across the tower. The heavy clouds of emotions confusing, and jumbled.

When Cyborg came in he went straight to the fridge, pulling out whatever he would need for breakfast. Starfire on the other hand looked around, and looked at Raven, and Beast Boy with a somber look. Her eyes were wide and teary. "Has Robin not join us all yet?" She asked her voice pleading to prove her wrong. She was only given silence.

"Something's up, guys, and it's obvious he isn't going to tell us." Cyborg said, he voice leveled. "So, all we can do it just be there for him."

"We must remind Robin that he is our friend." Starfire insisted, "I can make him some happy pudding, that might it may help his mood very much so, won't it?" She was cheerful about the prospect but everyone else had flinched at the thought of more of Starfire's happy pudding.

"Uh, Star, I don't think that would work for this situation…" BB said, uncertain of how to retort without offending the Tamaranian.

"What we should do, is make him so bacon!" Cyborg chimed in, already slapping slabs of the sliced meat into a frying pan.

"Cyborg! Tofu! Not meat!" Beast Boy hollered, attempting to jump on his friends back. Starfire, chiming in her own yelling, stressed that it should be happy pudding. With those three arguing Raven knew there would be no change, so she decided to take the matters into her own hands and set off down the wall with a fresher cup of coffee, steaming after it was remade.

"Robin, open up." Raven demanded, knocking on his room door, she could feel him shuffling inside, sense his disturbance at her presence. She was sure, with their connection, he could also sense her worry, but she refused to let that sway her. She was second in command, and the other three were hopeless. It all came down to her. When he opened the door she could see how green in the face he looked, worn out, and tired. "Have you even slept?" She asked him blatantly, raising an eyebrow at him. Robin just stared at her for an offbeat before shrugging his shoulders, and walking back into his room, letting her follow him inside.

He threw himself wearily onto the single chair, and pushed his fingers through his hair. He huffed a sigh, he covered his eyes with his palm. Everything about him screamed exhaustion. "Here, I know you won't go to sleep now, so at least drink this." she said, nudging his mug into his hands. Robin let the weight of the cup pull his hands down, and rest it on his knees. He seemed almost empty, filled with an insensible kind of sorrow that he tried to block her from feeling.

"They are all worried out there." Raven told him, still standing at his side. "Star is about two male team member's away from making you pudding." She told him, but the sarcastic joke didn't even make him lift his face to meet hers. "We are worried about you, you know." She saw the way his fingers clenched around the cup, the only sign that he had heard her. "I-"

But Raven would never get to tell him what it was she would have opened up about, because their heads had snapped up at the sound of wailing. Red lights around the tower blinking. Silence for only a beat between the five members before they all sprung into action.

This wasn't a drill.

When they got to the source of the problem, Jinx and the HIVE hijacking Stanford & Son's Jewelry Store, it almost seemed like they had gotten the old Robin back. He heralded out commands, and flew into his attacks. Nothing could have prepared them for what had happened.


End file.
